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www.mommy-zen.com MommyZen, Marianne Clyde’s second video podcast with Alfred James, author of the book Pocket Mindfulness, in which he educates his readers about   understanding, cultivating and manifesting mindfulness on a daily basis.  Alfred shares his message that, even as adults, we should nurture mindfulness in ourselves to reduce stress and to really notice yourself and the world around you. 

 

Affirmation – I am responsible for the stillness in my soul. 

Alfred shared his thoughts on how being mindful can help us in our everyday lives:   

·        Even people who don’t think they can sit still, find that when they do, they are able to move forward with particular decisions and find that things begin to fall into place quicker for them.

·        Mindfulness gives you mental clarity – suddenly, you’ve taken control of your mind, centered your awareness and are able to see the reality of things.

·        Being mindful begins with one thing – accept that you will die one day.  Though this sounds morbid, it is liberating.  Acceptance of your place in the world, that you are a part of the beautiful cycle of life, allows you to begin to thrive and appreciate the here and now. 

·        Mindfulness teaches us that everything is inter-related, that we are a part of nature.  Once you affiliate with that, you feel better about life and what lies ahead.  This acceptance allows you to stop fearing things and begin achieving those things that weren’t really happening for you before because you were stressed. 

www.mommy-zen.com MommyZen, Marianne Clyde’s first video podcast with Alfred James, author of the book Pocket Mindfulness, in which he educates his readers about   understanding, cultivating and manifesting mindfulness on a daily basis.  Alfred shares his powerful, clear and pragmatic message about teaching children to be mindful in their everyday lives.   It’s important for kids to be mindful in order to connect with themselves and nature, and to consider how others think and feel. 

 

Affirmation – When I am calm, everything around me becomes manageable. 

Being mindful teaches kids how to be empathetic – how to feel what others are feeling.  Many people don’t have this.   In order to cultivate mindfulness and nurture awareness in your children, you can:

1.      Connect with nature.  Try building a bug house or vegetable garden in your yard.  Kids are fascinated by watching nature in action.  This is also a great way to engage kids with the outdoors. 

2.      Identify people around you that need some help, particularly those in your own community or neighborhood.  Bake a cake for your elderly neighbor or for the single mom, offer to watch the children.  

http://www.mommy-zen.com -- Marianne Clyde, LMFT, discusses the obstacles people typically face in holding fast to their New Year's resolutions.  Marianne's clients have breakthroughs in their lives when they focus on applying the first three principles of peaceful parenting, as outlined in her book, Peaceful Parenting - 10 Essential Principles.  When you focus on shifting your underlying beliefs that are the source of unwanted behaviors and experiences, then you can experience a real breakthrough in your life.     



Affirmation – Every Day is a New Beginning for Me 

From her book, Peaceful Parenting – 10 Essential Principles, Marianne talks about the 3 key ingredients for making New Year’s resolutions that stick, which also happen to be the first 3 principles of her book.  Making a small effort to cultivate these three principles will help you on your way to a healthy life. 

1.      Connect with Your Creator.  Learn to be still and understand that He is within you. 

2.     Know Your Identity.  Many of our problems stem from lies we picked up along the way.  Relax and allow those true qualities to emerge in you. 

3.     Nurture Awareness.  Start becoming more aware and grateful of the blessings around you for a more positive outlook on life 

www.mommy-zen.com MommyZen, Marianne Clyde’s video this week addresses the “crazy busy-ness” of the holiday season and talks about the importance of remembering to be engaged with those who love and need you. 



Affirmation – I am centered and at peace. 

In this video, Marianne talks about what your “busy-ness” says about your (1) value (2) beliefs and (3) decisions. 

  • Value.  If you are constantly texting and emailing while superficially engaged with your kids, you’re telling them that there are other more important things than them.  You also devalue yourself – you obviously don’t realize what value you add to the present moment, and minimize the importance of your contribution to the situation.
  • Beliefs.   Your reveal your beliefs by your actions – were you raised to belief that not being busy makes you lazy?  Society deems “busy-ness” almost worthy of worship! Remember, that you matter and that “busy-ness” often gives us a place to hide our true feelings because we think no one cares.  Being still is the only way to recharge your battery.

  • Decisions.  Make choices that work for you.  You DO matter.  If a belief is not working for you, change it.  Regain an internal locus of control instead of being controlled by everyone else’s expectations and feeling powerless.  Every decision has consequences, or no consequences, so know why you are making your decisions and be happy with them. 

www.mommy-zen.com MommyZen, Marianne Clyde’s second video podcast with Alyssa Phillips, an attorney with Mark B. Williams Law Offices in Warrenton, where she specializes in family law.   When going through a divorce, it’s always important to keep the kids’ well-being at the center of reasoning. 



Affirmation – I communicate clearly and effectively all my needs and desires. 

Alyssa shares her thoughts on some of the top issues she sees as a Family Law attorney

·        Custody and Relocation.  Sometimes the custodial parent cannot afford to stay in the area and wants to move closer to family.   In many cases, he/she doesn’t consider the importance of the bond between the child and the other parent.  Work together to be creative, possibly through a therapist, attorney or mediator, to come up with a solution that is in the best interest of the children. 

·        Put Kids First.   Keeping kids in the martial home, or within the same school district, is huge for their stability.  Make sacrifices and concessions if you need to. 

·        Separation from Kids.  Don’t dwell on the bad parts of the divorce or the sadness of not having your kids around.  Instead focus on how separation from your kids can benefit you – give you time to work on you. 

www.mommy-zen.com MommyZen, Marianne Clyde’s first video podcast with Alyssa Phillips, an attorney with Mark B. Williams Law Offices in Warrenton, where she specializes in family law.   Alyssa shares her thoughts on what parents need to know while going through a divorce. 

 

Affirmation – I am fully aware of how my actions and attitudes affect those people I love. 

The 4 Things Parents Should Not Do When Getting a Divorce are:

1.      Don’t degrade your spouse in front of the children, or while the children are around.  Parents don’t see how their actions affect their children.  Degrading your spouse makes the children worry about their own “faithfulness” to the other parent. Essentially, it puts the kids in the middle. 

2.     Don’t use the children to get validation of your side of the problem.  The kids should not be involved with anything going on with their parents’ relationship. Seeing that Mom and Dad can be civil is important for children.   

3.     Don’t use the children as messengers.  Kids should not be the go-between for parents.  Adult conversation should be between the parents and kids should know they are loved by both parents. 

4.     Don’t interfere with the other parent’s time with the children.  Don’t schedule other activities on the other parent’s time.  Again, this can make the children feel torn between their parents.    

www.mommy-zen.com MommyZen, Marianne Clyde discusses how making an effort to be grateful can get the “gears” in your brain thinking in a more positive way.   Concentrating on negativity never has a positive outcome.  Simply making a list every day of 10 things you are grateful for can help you get rid of any bad feelings before they become toxic.  

Affirmation – I find something to be thankful for in every situation. 

In this episode, Marianne talks about 10 ways to jump-start a grateful heart.  Some of her suggestions include:

  • Around the holiday dinner table, ask family and guests to say something they appreciate about the person sitting to the right of them.  Take turns and reverse the direction.

  • When baking muffins or biscuits, have your kids write something they are thankful for on strips of paper, and then bake those into the muffins.  Every muffin will have a surprise of thanks. 

  • Ask your kids which toys they are most thankful for and then chat about those kids who don’t have anyone to buy them toys.  Buy a toy together and donate it to charity. 

  • As you are walking before or after your holiday meal, comment on your gratefulness to God as you go.

www.mommy-zen.com MommyZen, Marianne Clyde discusses 5 tips that any couple can implement right away to improve their relationship.   While each couple has their own unique problems, any couple can implement these changes and see a sudden and substantial change in their relationships.    


Affirmation – I am kind and considerate in all of my relationships.

The 5 Things Couples Can do to improve their relationships discussed in this episode are:

1.      Give up the need to be right.  If you are really right, then there is no need to prove it. 

2.     Pick your battles. Your partner has a right to a different way of doing things, and it does not have to be the same way you do it or the way you prefer it. 

3.     Speak respectfully at all times.  Give your partner the same grace and consideration you would give anyone else.

4.     Spend time together.   Even if you have to schedule it, face-to-face time with your spouse should always be a priority.  Remember to nurture this relationship at least once a week.

5.     Talk about things that are bothering you.   Do this kindly and when you are not tired or in a hurry.  

www.mommy-zen.com MommyZen, Marianne Clyde’s second video podcast with Kimberly Entrican, owner of Tagaloo in Warrenton, where they specialize in kids’ themed parties and enrichment classes.   Etiquette is about how to make people feel comfortable around you.  Kimberly shares her points on what parents need to know about “holiday etiquette,” specifically, eating and shopping etiquette.

Affirmation – I am alert and conscious of my impact on others. 

Important holiday dinner table etiquette tips parents can teach their children:

  • When to begin eating.  Remind children they shouldn’t just “sit down and start eating.”  Begin eating when the host/hostess starts eating.

  • Pass food to the right, and always pass the salt and pepper together.  

  • Know that you should excuse yourself before leaving the table.  Don’t just get up and leave.   Simply say “Please excuse me, I will be right back.” 

  • Parents, always model how you want your children to behave. 

www.mommy-zen.com MommyZen, Marianne Clyde’s discusses recent news events about bullying.  These tragedies events can make parents feel helpless, overprotective and fearful, particularly when it comes to social media.  However, we should not fear, and we should not teach our kids to fear.   Be wise and teach your kids to be wise.  Teach them restraint and self-respect. 

Affirmation – I am valuable and contribute positively to my environment. 

Key discussion points in this episode include:

  • Parents should monitor their children on social media – phones and computers are privileges, not rights. 

  • Remember, with social media, you don’t have the benefit of seeing someone’s face when they read your post.  You are spared that check in your spirit that says you may have hurt someone’s feelings.

  • Don’t be too tired, busy or lazy to spend time with your children.  Schedule face-to-face time. 

  • As parents, we work hard to make sure our kids feel loved and accepted.  Teach, listen encourage and correct.  Most importantly, set an example of the behavior you want them to follow. 


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